Sympathy: “an inclination to support or be loyal to or to agree with an opinion”

We are living in a time when there are lots of readily available messages. When we hear a stranger talk, our first inclination is to be skeptical. We wonder what their slant is, what their motive is, or where they are mistaken or even lying. Until that person proves to be someone we can trust, we are deaf to their message. This relates to Seth Godin’s idea of gaining friends before gaining customers, but I mean more in a granular, conversational context.

When you meet someone new, whether at a business gathering, a new blog, new twitter follower, or new next-door neighbor, understand that they are not listening to what you are saying until they get to know your message and understand its contexts.

Also, even if you’ve known someone a long time, if you have lost their sympathy, you will have to work to regain it before any real communication can be reinstated.

Let me be clear: Everything said before sympathy is only useful in gaining sympathy. Until you get your listener’s sympathy, there is no reason to try and convince them of anything. All you can do is build reasons for them to hear your message, then give them your message.

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We are living in an exciting time. There are so many opportunities, that there’s simply no more excuses for not starting a business. You don’t need much money, much time, much experience. All you need is the motivation to start. Your first venture will probably not succeed, but that’s really fine. Get the fear of failure out of your head and just start it. There’s not much risk in a small first time business. Here’s some tips to get started:

1. Don’t over-think it. You don’t need a written business plan, or every detail of how you’ll do it worked out. You’ll figure it out as you go, and that’s OK these days.

2. Don’t spend any money to start it. It’s actually very easy to start a business with less than $1,000. So many services are free or almost free. Before you pay for something, ask yourself how you could do it without money.

3. Get some partners. Figure out what you aren’t good at and partner up with some people who are. It doesn’t matter if you only end up with 20% of the company. It’s your first go. It more about learning and getting the ball rolling than making money on this one. You’ll also learn from your partners, which has immense value in itself.

4. Start now. Not next month.

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It is very easy to get into “can’t mode.”

“That business can’t be done.”

“We can’t do it for that price.”

“Response can’t get that high.”

“We can’t sell that many.”

“The technology can’t do that.”

We live in a time where can is more likely than can’t. As a matter of fact, the most profitable areas of business right now are in places where you look for a can’t and work on a can.

Are you stuck on can’t?

I’ll leave you with this great quote from Daniel Burnham:

Remember that our sons and grandsons are going to do things that would stagger us.

Wouldn’t it be great to do something staggering? Do you believe that you can?

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Eric and I went to Seth Godin’s seminar last September. It was easily the best thing we’ve ever done for our business.

I was a fan of Seth’s before I attended, but meeting him in person made me a raving fan. There was no powerpoint presentation, no lecture. Seth got up, said hello, and took questions for the entire day.

There were some incredible things that I learned about Seth:

Business Range: He answered questions from small business owners like me and Eric. He answered questions from Web 2.0 startups with big venture capital backing. He answered questions from huge, 100 year old companies.

Industry Range: Seth isn’t just an internet guru. When I asked him questions about financial lead generation, he answered with more insight into the industry than I have seen from financial veterans. He knew how to drive traffic to a blog about theater. He explained how to market face wash to 15 year old girls. When a question was asked about an industry, he immediately began talking about the nuances of the demographics in amazing detail and accuracy.

Accuracy: Speaking of accuracy, he was right about what he was saying. Most of the time, you have to wonder whether an expert is really correct. Seth has a way of explaining things in a manner that is hard to debate. Not once did anyone question his advice, because it was so obviously true. This is incredible to watch.

Clarity: We went around the room asking questions, and I got about 3 turns. Seth was giving out information quickly and clearly. He speaks likes he writes- in short, thoughtful bursts that don’t waste time, get straight to the point, and are easy to understand.

Blueberry muffins: Homemade blueberry muffins cooked from scratch by Seth? How could you resist?!

Go see him. Be prepared with the most important questions you need answered about your business. You will not be disappointed.

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It’s interesting to hear how different people view marketing. The big media buyers tout the creative side, saying it’s all about interesting advertising and new ideas. The direct marketing people usually scoff at the creatives, claiming that it’s all science and numbers.

In truth, I believe marketing is both. Sometimes it is more like science, and sometimes like art. If you leave out either, you have bad marketing.

I came across some material by Steve Martin (the comedian) that illustrates this very well. Steve Martin wrote a play, “Picasso at the Lapin Agile.” In it, Einstein meets Picasso at a Paris tavern in 1904, when both were just on the verge of their individual breakthroughs. It does a great job of showing how close science actually is to art, and vice versa. In one scene, Einstein and Picasso scribble their ideas on paper, as a duel:

Einstein: Done! (Einstein and Picasso switch drawings). It’s perfect.

Picasso: Thank you.

Einstein: I’m talking about mine.

Picasso: (studies it) It’s a formula.

Einstein: So’s yours.

Picasso: It was a little hastily drawn … yours is letters.

Einstein: Yours is lines.

Picasso: My lines mean something.

Einstein: So do mine.

Picasso: Mine is beautiful.

Einstein: (indicates his own drawing) Men have swooned on seeing that.

Picasso: Mine touches the heart.

Einstein: Mine touches the head.

Picasso: Mine will change the future.

Einstein: (holds his drawing) Oh, and mine won’t?

In another scene, they brainstorm an idea:

Picasso: Before me artists used to get their performances from the past, but from this point they are coming from the future, fast and loose.

Einstein: Absolutely from the future!

Picasso: I think in the moment of pencil to paper, the future is mapped out in the face of the person drawn. Imagine that the pencil is pushed hard enough and the lead goes through the paper into another dimension.

Einstein: Yes!

Picasso: A kind of fourth dimension, if that’s what you want to call it.

Einstein: I can’t believe you’re saying this, a fourth dimension!

Picasso: And that fourth dimension is… the future!

Einstein: Wrong.

Martin’s commentary:

What I felt that I had to say was that at the highest level of art and science the process was the same, that Einstein made the same leaps as Picasso… in science you presume it’s deduction that gets you from place to place to place, but the big accomplishments were pure creative thinking where they had almost nothing to go on, except an instinct.

Of course, we are talking about breakthroughs. Moments when something very special is created. In these times, art and science are both more like art, relying heavily on creativity, gut feeling, raw newness and exploration.

However, just before and just after a breakthrough, both science and art are more like science. Measurements, constants, tweaks, changes, minor improvements. Before a breakthrough, you tinker with the accepted norm of things. Small changes here, minor advancements there. Then, creativity kicks in and you make a major leap forward. Once the leap forward is made, you build upon it. You’re back to science, tweaking, changing, improving the breakthrough.

What this means for you is that great marketing is both science and art. Relying on creativity alone gives you raw material that may not have what it needs to take root in society. Relying on science alone gives you boring incremental improvements over current ideas.

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