The next time you sit down to enter a negotiation try to explore a different perspective.

1. What does the other party hope to gain from this agreement?

2. What constitutes success from their perspective?

3. How can you help them accomplish these goals?

You see, the truth in negotiation is that we will always think about what we want to gain from the relationship. The problem comes in when we get so focused on what we hope to gain that we lose focus on what are counter-part needs and our value begins to slip. So, how is this true?

Q. Would you like your first date with a new guy or gal to come after a seed of doubt has been planted in their mind?

A. I can’t speak for you, but I want friendships to begin on a solid foundation. Trust and comfort will follow much easier after this foundation has been laid.

Q. How does a young child or even a graduate student feel after working and studying so hard for a class only to find he received a B-?

A. The answer is… empty! It’s your job to help them get the A+ they need.

Your ultimate goal in negotiations should be enough to satisfy your team, and create the feeling that your counter-part hit a home run.

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Before a doctor ever starts to fix problems, he has to give a diagnosis. Great doctors are not just great healers, but excellent at diagnosing problems. Adversely, many serious health issues have been caused by misdiagnosis.

And many businesses have had problems because of misdiagnosis.

You think a person is failing and needs to be replaced. In reality, a process you are forcing them to work within is flawed. You think sales are lagging. Really, customer service stinks and they are leaving faster than you could ever bring them in. You think your marketing is bad. Sometimes the sad reality is that your product is bad.

Before you go fixing a problem, make sure it really is the problem.

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This or that. One or the other. Either or.

We trap ourselves thinking it can only be done this way or that way. Whenever you’re facing a problem with an either/or decision, back up and say, “Wait, is there an Option C?” Totally set aside the two options and think of a third. This is hard, but the results are better.

In business, the usual application for this is: You do something a certain way. The customer loves it, but it’s breaking your back. It hurts you in profitability or processes or people or something. Your other option is to do something that helps your profits or processes, but provides a worse customer experience.

Companies that are good at finding Option C are the ones that win.

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